Five years ago the internet was more or less considered as a form of free media.  With the rise of algorithms and various other attempts to bury the truths of the world, its becoming very rare that we actually get true opinions and stories to the majority. I read today that a certain YouTuber couldn’t monetise her video because it contained ‘graphic content’ this graphic content was acne.  It’s not all about the money, I’d be lying if I said money wasn’t a good influencing factor from a publisher’s point of view, but it’s not the main goal, not mine anyway.  I never plan on being a full time blogger because I have done that and I always feel like I’m not doing enough and its damaging to my mental health (no qualms with people who are full time you’re braver than me). Putting your heart and soul into something takes time, and in my opinion once completed is all the satisfaction I need. If someone wants to pay me to do what I love, go ahead. I’m not going to take payment to promote something I don’t believe in. I once tried network marketing, I won’t mention the company but I tried the products and they just didn’t work so I stopped instantly. I don’t say yes to every collaboration opportunity because then I’m not doing what I love but in fact doing what I am told, and that is something I’m not very good at. I’ll admit I can be a princess at times, but not over materialistic things, I’m determined and when I love something I give it 100% of my attention and care.

Mental health issues are now so widely discussed on the internet which is amazing, I have to give a shoutout to my beautiful friend Maddie Bruce for all she’s done around the stigma. Mental health is a topic incredibly close to my heart, not only from my personal experiences, but people around me who suffer in silence because ‘men shouldn’t have depression’. It’s amazing to me that as soon as I say casually to someone ‘oh well I take medication so I can function daily’ most think I’m diabetic or something, when I tell them it’s to silence my crippling anxiety, most are taken aback and don’t know what to say. I’m not ashamed of my issues, I laugh it off!  I am me, anxious little me and I’m okay with that. You should talk openly about your ailments because you wouldn’t shy away if you were taking painkillers for a broken bone, why should taking tablets to balance a chemical imbalance be any different? I would say that 2/3 people turn around to me and say wow I would never have known that about you, I actually suffer with *insert said mental illness* and from this I now have several friends, mainly guys that are having a real tough time and don’t know what to do about it because of the stigma around it. One of my friends from work actually has started a blog on the topic, his writing is very impressive and it’s nice to see a male speaking so openly and honest about his journey. Read his blog here.

I don’t like the idea that people see medication for mental health as a false numbness and an easy way out. I started my first course of tablets at 15 and stopped within a month because everyone around me in my life at that time didn’t like the idea of me taking them. At 20 I started again, after a long 5 years of extreme ups and downs, I’m happy to say that they have made a huge difference to my life. Almost a year of taking them and I am a completely different person. I’ve gained the confidence to blog more, meet new people and put myself out there. Even little things like making conversation with people working on the tills, and not being afraid to go to the toilet by myself. After my break up, the old me would have crumbled and locked herself away, but within three weeks’ I’d found myself an amazing job, and an adorable little house to live in. I’m not saying it’s entirely down to the medication but it certainly helped.

Back to my original point of the internet no longer being a free media, coming from an angle of a blogger, when I’m sent things I want my posts to look amazing so they get reposted. It sounds selfish and having all the free shoes in the world is great but at the end of the day I’m always looking to grow and exposure through reposts are a great way to do that. So if I have a hideous spot or anything doesn’t look right I’ll edit it out. My room isn’t as white and bright as it seems, I have to use a teeth whitening app to make the room whiter. I’ve always said social media is a lie, and I assumed everyone was under the same impression. But apparently not, I feel sorry for the people that don’t know the truth behind the pictures. I have lots of friends in the industry and I know stories of what Bloggers and YouTubers are really like. Social media can be edited to portray the best in someone. Expect the worst and you’ll only receive better – terrible advice I know but it’s kind of true.  Bloggers get paid to do reviews, which I’m not slating as I do it too, but how true can you really be when someone is withholding money they owe you from hours of work. This post is coming across quite hypocritical but that’s the way the industry is, I love it, I love what I do and people can do whatever they want because in all honesty I don’t care enough to have an opinion. If someone grows their reach by editing themselves so much they’re unrecognisable in real life then fine, you go girl, editing is an art and I appreciate that. People may consider me vain or smug because on occasion I will post more selfies in a week than people have hot dinners, but at the end of the day that’s my choice.

I always try and keep things as real as I can. I posted a YouTube video the other day (link here) and I said in it, I could have spent an hour getting ready before hand to make myself look ‘presentable’ but why would I? Plus, it was a DIY video so I was bound to be a mess at the end anyway. People focus too much attention on what everyone else is doing and not enough time on what they’re doing. I’m sure no matter what your age, occupation or gender you have done something that is brave and courageous, you just don’t give yourself the time or the credit you deserve. I feel like I wandered away from my main message of this post, but please remember you are you, worry about you, the internet isn’t real. Have you lived that person’s life? No, so what gives you the right to judge? Exactly.

This is a positive post so interpret it however you will, but my intention is to motivate you to care less about what you read and see and focus on the good in yourself.

One cannot love another person until one loves one’s self.

 

*image from Pinterest 

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