I have tried to film a video on this 4 times now, I have one I’m OK with but I still can’t bring myself to publish it. Aside from all the other shit that happened to me shortly after my assault, the incident itself actually changed my life more than I thought. I have recently been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) I don’t know why but this actually made me feel worse about the whole thing. I was under the impression I was doing okay and it hadn’t affected my life, but during my assessment it became clear that I had changed my behaviour and became hyper vigilant, very aware of situations that could lead to another assault and lead me to avoid certain situations.
My assault happened after a work event and a long story short I ended up leaving my job. I very quickly found myself unemployed, homeless, single and without my beautiful puppy Bertie. I am happy to say that for some reason I didn’t dwell on this too much. My whole routine of life had changed. Think about your normal Monday – Friday.. for me it was wake up, walk the dog, feed the cat and dog, do some blog work, go to actual work come back from work to my lovely home with my housemates (and boyfriend at the time). I was happily plodding along with life and wouldn’t have changed a thing. I thought I was happy. Then in the space of a couple of weeks I lost everything I had, I then quickly learnt that I could actually be happier.
It turned out the job I was happy enough to do every week wasn’t the best thing in the world, and the people I thought were my friends weren’t. It’s amazing how much people show their true colours when shit goes wrong. In the space of around 3 weeks I found myself in my own beautiful home, with a job in Digital Marketing which I love. My day job is my passion and I love it!
The purpose of this post isn’t to make you question whether you really are happy right now, but more along the lines of it’s easy to get caught up in the routine of life and you learn to accept a level that you consider good. But the reality is, one day everything might stop, and when/if it does, it’s not the end of the world. Everything happens for a reason, and you decide how you react in these situations.
A lot can change in a year, chill. If shit starts hitting the fan, let it. Because chances are something better is coming. As one door closes another one opens, so don’t spend your time being upset about what you had, and look forward. The best is yet to come.