I was watching my favourite blogger Sophie Milner [totally crushing on her no shame] talk on her Instagram Stories about VAGINAS and how so many people are embarrassed to get the old moo out to anyone other than their partner. When you are as unlucky as I am you tend to lose all shame. I fall over often, I say the wrong thing more than once and I have had my fair share of embarrassing illnesses. My doctors surgery have collectively seen every inch of my body so much so that I am way past the embarrassment of getting anything out for the doctors [whey lads lads lads]. Also it’s their job to look at every inch of everyone. I’m sure they don’t get grossed out by seeing a vagina. Sophie’s discussion started around smear tests, and while I’m currently too young to have one done I can 100% say that the few moments of discomfort and awkwardness are really not that bad, now let me tell you why.
My Contraceptive Story – The Copper Coil
Like I say I am too young to have a smear test, apparently 25 is the sweet spot as when you’re younger your vagina plays tricks and seems like something is wrong when it isn’t. I recently had the copper coil fitted during this fitting they use the same equipment as a smear test hence why I am familiar with the kit without actually having had a smear test done. I was in the process of getting diagnosed with Fibromyalgia [which took 5 years] and someone mentioned to me that the side effects from the pill could be making me worse or mimicking symptoms of fibromyalgia. I’m happy to give anything a go once, so I came off the pill and booked in for my coil fitting. I rarely get nervous at hospitals but this time I was frightened. It was the first time since I was a child someone was going to see my vjj. [When I was five there was a tragic push bike accident where a very hard plastic saddle punched my vagina] I took my boyfriend to the hospital with me, one because he’s my driver but two, because I wanted him to know how much of a faff it is being a women and being in charge of contraception. The doctor came and grabbed me from the sanitized, grey gum clinic waiting room, and told Mike to wait while she spoke to me alone. She wanted to make sure I wasn’t in an abusive relationship [which I am not]. Top marks to them for doing this. So all awkward questions out of the way she goes and grabs Mike while I strip off and put my feet up in the air ready to be inserted.
Now the good stuff. You shouldn’t feel nervous about getting a smear test because it could never be as awkward as me getting the coil fitted. While she had her fingers inside of me trying to find my cervix, mines pretty far back don’t you know! I looked down at the doctor, and awkwardly locked eyes for a second. My boyfriend is at my head holding my hand and some lady I just met is rummaging around in my vagina with her fingers, and I’ve just made eye contact. I didn’t want to seem awkward so I kind of maintained the eye contact for a while, before swiftly averting my glaze to the frosted office window. So yeah, that was horrendous. So I get the coil shoved up me [its agony] I couldn’t move properly for about 48 hours and for the next 6 months I continued to have pain. Until one day during sex I thought I was going to die. My coil had moved from my womb, into my cervix and was poking a muscle and causing it to spasm. (See diagram above) That’s where all that grotesque pain had been coming from! I had been calling up around once a month trying to get some answers as to why it hurt so bad, and I was always dismissed and told it was my fibromyalgia and not to worry.
I’m now back on the pill. I take Cerelle you don’t have to take a break from it and periods usually stop, but you might get a blood clot or a stroke but there’s not really much else to choose from. I’ve had the implant that made me suicidal ~ well contributed to my suicidal tendencies, so I’m going to stick with the pill. I thought the pill was the cause of my mood swings, spots an weight gain but it turned out it was just me ha!
So my moral of the story is, if you’re nervous about getting a smear test, don’t be. When they put the coil in they used the same equipment so I can say the pain from that thing they put in you is not that bad, its weird and uncomfortable but not painful. And know you probably won’t have a horrendous experience, unless you try and maintain eye contact with the person doing it throughout the duration. Go get that smear test girl! https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cervical-screening/
You can buy this gorgeous teddy coat for less than £15 here! Mine is a size L and in the colour brown, although I would say its more camel.
As a side note I would like to say that my boyfriend was amazing, while I was getting this put in and while I got it taken out. He bought me Taco Bell after I had it done and let me squeeze his hand so much it hurt, lots of love for him.
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